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Chinese medicine gets more complicated the more you read about it with the introduction of the Vital Substances, the Five Elements, the Organs, External Causes and so on. I decided to go with the flow, not needing to understand in depth. Let's just see what she could do for me, I decided.

She gave me an acupuncture treatment and, lying there in the dark, I felt my latihan wash through me, working with the energies in my physical body, leaving me feeling relaxed and calm.

I have been to see her for about eight sessions, now. My pulse is stronger at seven out of ten, as she notates it, and the swelling in my neck is noticeably smaller by 50 per cent. To sum up, what I have been led to understand is that wrong behaviour that is unaddressed, or allowed to have free rein, eventually manifests as illness.

If you become ill, the medical profession is very good at diagnosing the problem. After diagnosis, either go with the conventional medical wisdom or choose an alternative practitioner that you're comfortable with but, at the same time, it is essential to get to understand the behaviour that is manifesting and, working hand in hand with the latihan, to find ways to change it. Even having something surgically removed doesn't make the inner problem disappear!

These four things, diagnosis, medication, behaviour analysis and change must go hand in hand or the dis-ease will reappear in another guise, becoming more and more life threatening each time until you're prematurely summoned to death. 

This warning shot over my bows ('This really could turn life-threatening!' said one of the others during our testing session) is a grace of enormous proportions and I would be a fool to ignore it. If I do and next time it's not a warning shot, but a real cancer, I will have achieved that which some part of me wants, deep down. I will become the eternal victim child. I will be attended to and looked after by others, spending most of my time in bed, hairless from chemotherapy. I will have become a baby again.


Extracted from Marcus Bolt's new book  Saving Grace - Thirty Years in Subud
Published by VIA BOOKS, May 1999.
Available from: SPI Ltd, Loudwater Farm, Loudwater Lane, Rickmansworth Herts WD3 4HG UK   Tel: 01727 858080 Price (inc p+p) UK £7.50, Europe £8. 50, US and Rest of World £10 (All major credit cards accepted)

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